At the beginning of the course, there was nothing that set Fani apart from any of the other twenty-three young men in the program with him. (Side note, it was actually quite interesting to see how difficult it was when one of my students asked a teammate to pass a message onto me but my teammate did not know the student's name. They are all men between the ages of twenty and twenty-six. They all wear navy uniforms made out of the same fabric. They are all clean shaven with close buzzed hair. My teammate wanted me to describe all of the men at my table by their eyebrows because that is one of the most distinguishing features they have. Back to Fani.) Although he did not stand out right away, everyone soon knew who he was as he established himself as one of the most talkative of the group. One of the first things he shared, was that at eleven years old, his best friend raped him. He still carried so much pain, anger, and brokenness from that one act of violence. It was tragic to hear story after story of childhood beatings, alcoholic and drug addicted parents, and rape. It became clear very quickly that these men were headed to prison from a young age. The biggest predictor of which boys will wind up in prison, is which boys have fathers/uncles/older brothers in prison. However, when that question was asked less than half the guys raised their hands, so there are many roads that lead to prison.
Later, Fani shared the whole story of the crime that was the reason we were meeting him now. When Fani was a teenager he was a bit awkward looking and he is on the short side. His physical appearance coupled with his feelings of inadequacy and shame from his rape left him feeling that he would never be able to attract the beautiful woman he wanted to. This made him hate beautiful women. So one day he tied up a beautiful woman. He had a knife on hand, and his goal was to cut up her face and leave her with scars that would make her ugly and unable to attract men in the future. He also considered raping her. He did not do either. Instead he broke down, and with tears streaming down his face, he robbed the girl and left. He was later caught and charged with armed robbery.
Wednesday afternoon Andrew asked if there was anything we needed to hear before we broke for the day. We were over time already, but he wanted to give one last opportunity if there was anyone needing to say anything. One of our other table facilitators called out that there was, and one of the young men at his table went to the microphone in the center to announce that he was done with the prison gangs and he had given himself to Jesus. We all clapped and cheered. Then our joy was doubled as Fani also went to the center to announce that he was done with the gangs. His table facilitators went up to pray with him and he wound up also deciding that it was finally time for him to become a Christian.
We went back to our accommodations for the night thrilled with what God can accomplish in so short a time, just three days. Students do usually leave the gangs during Restorative Justice programs, but usually not that early. Nothing could have prepared us for what Fani had to share the next morning though.
As soon as Andrew opened up a free sharing time, Fani was in the center again. He told us that he had endured a hard night. Even though him sharing was the last thing that happened at class, by the time he got to his cell he already had gang "brothers" waiting for him. They asked him hard questions and harassed him, but thankfully did not beat him. He eventually felt that he could not handle any more questions, and so Fani went and hid in the bathroom. Subsequently, after a night of little sleep, and not little stress, Fani woke to his twenty-first birthday. On leaving the cell for breakfast, one of the wardens told Fani he had a call waiting for him. He went to answer the phone expecting his mother, but got the shock of his life when he found that it was his victim. Further, his victim did not call him to try to make his day as miserable as possible, she had called to make it as good as she had the power to. She told Fani that he did not need to worry about her anymore. She had found healing and forgave him for what he had done. She urged him to focus instead on his own healing and on preparing as much as possible for a good transition back to life on the outside. She ended by telling him to have the most beautiful day he could have.
What an amazing birthday gift!
It was almost unbelievable to see the transformation in Fani over the rest of the week. He walked around like a little boy. If he needed the toilet during a presentation he ran on tip-toe with head tucked down a secretive grin on his face. He looked like he was being sent to the candy store rather than taking a bathroom break. It seemed that you could never see him anymore without seeing his smile. It is ironic that on the day Fani became fully a man in American culture, with no more restrictions on his actions, we all felt like we met a carefree little boy. It was also so touching to see him with our prayer warrior. This man made it his habit to pray for the young men every morning starting at 3am. He also came to the program every day, not to teach or facilitate, but to pray for the teachers, facilitators, and students. He really cared about our students and would go around the tables during breaks checking in with them. He would ask how he could pray for them, he would share Bible versus with them, he would convince ones ready to quit because the emotional impact was so tough to stay, and he would crack a lot of jokes. Fani and he shared a special bond. On Fani's birthday, during every break, I would see him run over to the man of prayer and snuggle up under his right arm and rest his head on our warrior's chest. I wish I could share a picture of the two of them with you. The mid-forties ex-gangster drug dealer with knife scars on his cheek and a testimony of how God saved him, standing like a rock chatting with the students at my table as the surrogate uncle/father he became to them, and the twenty one year old young man turned boy completely unashamed to be seen snuggling up to get the loving touch he had craved for so long.
Our God saves and transforms.
Prayer points:
- Praise God Thomas and Abiola made it safely to Boston twelve hours ago.
- Pray for safe travels and good work as Tatiana finishes up in South Africa and moves on to India where she will be working with a local pastor for three weeks.
- Pray for the young men as they go through another two months of exercises, hard topics, and hopefully growth with new assistant facilitators to replace us.
- Praise for those who left the gangs, and prayers for them to stay away from gangsterism for good and to find better things to fill their lives with.
- Pray for the full time workers that they will have the support they need to continue their amazing work.
What a story! I hope they get the support they need to stand fast in their faith. I'll be praying.
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